Damn you!

Damn you for hurting me so much! Damn you for making me fall in love with you again! Damn you for getting the children involved! Damn you for making me know what love really feels like! Damn you for being a coward! Damn you for making me believe you! Damn you for all of this pain I'm in! Don't you know how much I love you? Don't you think that this hurts me more every second? Don't you know how much I hate being in this thing with J? Don't you know that I gave up everything for you? Don't you know that I hate doubting my sanity? Damn you for making my friends think I'm nuts! Damn you for letting me believe that you had come to rescue me from this hell that I'm living in! Damn you for letting me believe that you would never abandon me! Don't you know how much this hurts? Don't you realize that you have always been my only love? Don't you know that I don't want to be this girl? When I was waiting for you to come back it was so good, so wonderful, I was able to cope because I always held onto the hope of us. Damn you for taking that hope away! Now what am I supposed to believe in? Now what is going to rescue me? Now who is going to take control of me? I've been waiting for someone like you, I've been waiting to hand the reins over, I've been wanting someone to dominate me the way that I've dominated everything else. Damn you for making me believe! I want to hate you so bad, but I can't, all I can do is keep on loving you, believing in you, dreaming of you....