Running Away

Wouldn't it be nice to just run away from all of it? I'm sure plenty of people have thought this way before...Hell, we wouldn't have all these escape plans otherwise. Anyway after this:
http://dorchadas.blogspot.com/2004/12/closing-of-things.html

All I want is to crawl in a deep dark hole and never come out. You say I speak of things that I don't understand, well babe, maybe if you would have been a bit more forthcoming since we started speaking again, maybe I would be able to understand everything. Instead you lied, over and over again, and when I would beg you to be honest with me, you would insist that you were. So Dorchadas, take your best shot at me, I'm going to be gone before you know it. I told you once before that I would give you anything that you asked for. So, you have asked to be left alone...alone, yes all alone, and yes, you've got it. I'm tired of getting stepped on by you, I'm tired of you not trusting in us enough to tell me everything, I'm tired of you kicking me around like a wonderful idea, but something that isn't real. Am I only a fantasy? Do I not really exist? I think I see myself when I'm looking in the mirror, but maybe it's someone else, maybe I'm just a medium for everyone else pain in life.

I tried to get with the dj last night, I needed to get fucked so bad. I wanted to be thrown around like a rag doll after I read that shit. I wanted to be beaten, pinched, tied down, and tormented for hours. I wanted to see blood running down my naked body. I wanted to be dominated if only for a few hours...But, I smoked too damn much and passed out before he called me back. So instead of forgetting about it all, the words kept tormenting me all night long.