Finding freedom in the little things.

Today I found myself unable to stop myself from picking up the phone to call the adopted one and throwing her out on the curb. I feel so much better since I did this little motion. I gave her till the end of tonight to bring me my keys back and get her shit out. I don't need the hassles that she brings and the utter lack of respect that she has for myself and my house. I did her a huge favor by letting her in here when her mother was beating her, all I asked is that she respected me, she couldn't do this so fuck her. I don't need a teenage daughter...

I still feel so weak, just trying to do the laundry is taking all of my energy. They still haven't really figured out what is wrong with me, I just know that I'm in a ton of pain as I sit here writing this. This is the first time that I have been out of bed in almost a week. I refuse to take my pain pills till I just can't stand the pain anymore. My kidneys and my liver are swollen and tender...This too shall pass just like everything else. I will get better.

Listening to your mix again, as always, it gives me the strength I need to go on. It was so nice to hear your voice again the other day. Thank you for calling when I needed you most. I hope that your life is going on the right track. I have decided that nursing school is a must! I would look so damn sexy in the uniform, besides with all of my connections with the rich old geezers in this town, I may be able to find a nice private position. Plus, it would mean only 18 more months of servitude. I wasn't meant to be controlled by anyone, I must take back control and this is the quickest way out of here. In the meantime, I will take every opportunity to stash a little cash.

I find it quite interesting that most of my readers are ex-milts...Is it some sort of coincidence? Or, is it just life coming around full circle again? I would love to ponder this more on the page, but for now, the pills are calling my name and a nice long nap.

I am better than a phoenix...I am a cat.